So for the past few days, or maybe weeks (ok, weeks), I've had occasional mini-panic attacks about my job. I'm in way over my head and recently I've been wondering why in the world I didn't just take a simple internship where I could watch people work while getting them coffee. I mean, what kind of person expects to be a successful director of something before they've ever worked in it? Well, I guess the kind of person who also runs off to another country any time there's an interesting opportunity.
Since I'm starting my department out from ground 0 (being that it didn't even exist until I got here) I feel like I've been floating around a bit and lacking some inspiration. Too many thoughts in a head not going in any certain direction. I've had glimmers of inspiration when describing to people what I hope to do, like we all know, I'm a talker. But many times as I sit down at my computer I'm at a complete loss as to where to begin or what I'm even doing. I'm simply not a strategic person!
But thankfully in the last few days I've gotten overwhelming heaps of inspiration piled on me. One is a student, a very sweet and hardworking girl, who is trying to finish her degree in Food Engineering but is unable to keep up with the financial demands. She has amazing grades and has worked very hard to put herself through school, but for medial reasons can no longer sell door to door. Sitting down with her a few times to understand her situation reminded me of why I have been longing to work in this area. Everything we do here, from scholarships to building new programs is all for these students. It's hard not to feel inspired by them.
I've also had the opportunity over the last few days to sit down with my boss as well as other key partners in my work, and we're going through the process of revising my department's description. I've been drafting documents for myself over the last few weeks and from my own perspective, but the process of getting feedback is so invigorating. Especially because ultimately my work will be judged by how well I meet everyone's expectations, so it's very relieving to get a true understanding of what we're all expecting from a new International Relations department here at the school.
I'm excited to see what comes next!